How did people in the Old West keep their beer cold?You, as a very parched cowboy or cowgirl, have just ridden back into town and you see a sign that says, to your great pleasure, “COLD BEER.” Being the only thing that can quench your insatiable thirst, you head into the saloon looking for the promised goods.
As you enter the structure, immediately you’re hit with the overbearing scent of sweaty men and alcohol. Approaching the bar, you summon the barmaid and she’s soon off again to retrieve your drink. You sit, scanning the scene in front of you, there’s easily a spectrum of drunkards in the place tonight. On the far end, there’s three men, all extremely intoxicated and making a fuss about who’s the fastest gunslinger. You believe the only thing they could probably hit would be their foot in this state but you continue looking on. A bit closer, there are two men at a table and you overhear them talking about how crisp and cool the beer tastes tonight-- how it tastes like pure ice sliding down the throat. Upon hearing this conversation and receiving your drink, it dawns on you that the beer, is in fact, very cold. Curious, you ask the bar maiden how she keeps the beer so cold. Does she have some kind of access to a cold place, and if so, how does she keep it from melting? Are they making the ice? No-- that’s absurd! She must be practicing witchcraft, yeah that’s it! She insists that it’s a secret she can’t share but you persist. The curiosity is making your brain itch. Eventually, she gives in and she takes you to the back. There, you find a massive set of stairs leading to seemingly nowhere. As you both descend, goosebumps raise on your arms and you see your breath, something that’s not new for you because you know how desert nights get. When you reach the bottom you see an incredibly crafted wooden door and it’s humongous.
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Why are barns red? Nobody has ever questioned why barns are red. In California, barns are red. In Kentucky, barns are red. In Connecticut, barns are red. Maybe it's time that we, as a human race, start questioning WHY barns are red. Does anybody remember when we first started painting barns red? Do YOU remember why we started painting them red? Well let me tell you why barns are red.
Every 1st, 2nd, 8th, 13th, 17th, 20th, 23rd, and 30th of the month, aliens come and visit farms far and wide. Ravenous, they eyeball the farmers like they're a bucket of KFC chicken. (Yes KFC, they have those in space you know) Way back when, farmers did wonderfully and they were very prosperous, the aliens never wanted to bother them because they were afraid of how successful they were. Then, one spring, the humans had a poor harvest and lots of their people starved. The human numbers had been drastically lessened. "This," the aliens cooed, "this is our chance to eat their cows." They all maniacally knitted their fingers at the exact same time, adding to their overall weirdness. That fall, the aliens decided to reach out to the humans. "Give us all your cows and we will let you all live, except Richard, we don't like Richard." The humans decided that this was better than being murdered by an alien race so they readily agreed to these terms. Why did pirates bother making prisoners or enemies "walk the plank" instead of just chucking them overboard? Imagine this, you’re the dreaded captain of a ship of 50 men. You just overtook a smaller ship of about 20 men. Among the survivors who didn’t jump ship to evade capture, the captain who insists, “a captain goes down with his ship” and 7 other capable men. “Gut ‘em,” someone yells from your midsts. “Let’s just throw him overboard!” shouts another. All sound like desirable actions and you have trouble choosing between the many ideas your men offer. You’re the captain for a reason, people fear you and because of this, they respect you.
Then all of a sudden, one of your men pulls out his knife and says, “you’re too slow boss, I’ll do it myself.” Astounded by this you rally your men and order this crewmember to be restrained. Now you have two problems, you have to get rid of these men whose treasure you just stole and you have people in your crew questioning your rank in power. So how do you fix this? Intimidation. “Marx! Jimmy! Put that piece of wood there!” you say and before you know it, you’re walking a man off your ship with a sword to his back. With shark infested waters below, you force him closer and closer to the edge. Your men stand at the edge of the ship, watching eagerly while the man in front of you begs for you to spare him. Once there were two girls who were so extremely bored that they decided to have a sojourn in a small diner. All they did was sit and judge people who walked by, they didn’t talk to anybody else and they didn’t even bother to order anything. In their heads they were thinking quixotic ideas and trying to canonize absurd theories. As they were deep in thought, a tall young lady walked by.
“Hello,” she cooed, “how are you ladies?” To this, neither of them responded, clearly denigrating this woman with just a few looks. The woman circumnavigated the table, getting closer to the girls. Looking into their glass cups she said “I can scry for you, if you’d like, I can see your future.” The two girls, still unimpressed, just sighed and looked away.
After finishing the venn diagram assignment, I’ve become really interested in learning about religion and, not only how it’s influenced history, but how it’s motivated some of history’s major events. I thought it was interesting to see how connected all the historical groups were with religion in particular. There were a lot of zealous religious leaders who did a lot of weird and extreme things and I think that would be really fun to learn about. In addition to religion, I really want to read more primary sources. It doesn’t matter what they’re about but I’d like to see more personal accounts of history. I think it would be incredible to learn history this way because personal accounts are more authentic and, while still biased, remain more true than history textbooks. Lastly, cults. I’d really like to learn more about how they contributed to history. All in all, to generalize what I’d mainly enjoy learning more about, I’d say religion but I’m very excited to have a history class so whatever we learn about I’ll be excited for. The person who analyzed my card was pretty spot on with everything. Everything was correct except for the fact that they said, "possibly also lives in Santa Fe," and I don't currently live there but I did grow up there. For my five drawings, I chose to draw a bowling ball and pins to show that I enjoy going bowling and hanging out with my friends. Next, I decided to draw the state of New Mexico because it's where I was raised and where all of my family lives. Then, I added my phone because everyone who knows me knows that I have an old Samsung Galaxy SIII, which means my phone is over 6 years old. My second to last addition to my card was a computer to resemble my new computer that I spend the majority of my time on. Lastly, I attempted to draw my dog because I love her more than anything in the entire world and most of my friends who meet her end up loving her equally or more than they do me. I chose to draw these five things because I felt like they really represented who I am and what I like to do. If I could go back and add or redo a drawing, I would probably try to incorporate a piano and books. |
AuthorI have way too much time on my hands and I'm way too over analytical of everything. It makes for weird conspiracies supported by questionable evidence and unpopular opinions. Archives
October 2018
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